Philosophical Insights on Love, Truth, and Consciousness
What is Real Love?
Contrary to what popular culture tells us, love at its core is not simply an emotion or some form of ideal. Rather, it's what stays after our incessant need to define, control, or possess someone finally evaporates.
Key Insight: What most people call love in this day and age is actually nothing more than dependency. It just presents itself as something noble or worth striving for. But really, what's so noble about being needy? About the fear of being alone, of not being enough, or of being abandoned.
The Self-Love Paradox
Nisargadatta Maharaj put it quite bluntly: "What you truly love is yourself." But he wasn't talking about the limited me. Real love only rears its head when there's no me in the way—when you're not trying to get something out of the other person. That kind of love sees clearly and allows everything to be as it is. No need to cling or demand.
The Marketing of Love
It doesn't help that marketing companies found different ways to hijack this. For decades, they've branded love into something transactional. It has become a performance you prove with purchases. Valentine's Day is nothing more than a business model. A diamond ring was literally made into a symbol of commitment because De Beers ran a campaign convincing people "a diamond is forever."
In today's trying times, love has been twisted and perverted. It means flowers, chocolates, luxury bags, fancy dinners. The deeper the pocket, the deeper the love. It's really just emotional blackmail, and we bought it.
Love Without Judgment
True love is the absence of judgment—which is another way of saying stop trying to remake the other person into someone that fits your mental template. In the Bhagavad Gita, Krishna describes love as bhakti, but not worshiping a god for favors. It's surrender without bargaining. A letting go of self-interest so complete that it doesn't occur to you to call it love anymore.
Actual love doesn't feel the way it's marketed. No fireworks, no obsession, no drama. It's often boring, like:
• Sitting in a room with someone and not needing to fill the silence
• Helping someone and not needing to be thanked
• Letting someone leave your life without resenting them for it
The Path Forward
Take a look at parents who actually respect their adult children's autonomy. They don't guilt them or expect payback. They just support when asked and disappear when not needed. That's love. Not "I brought you into this world," but "you're free to live your life."
So if you want to find love, stop looking for it. Ask instead: What in me still needs to be seen? That's what you focus on first and foremost. Because the moment you stop needing love to fix something in you, it'll start showing up everywhere. And it won't look in any way like the romantic movies suggest.
Why Do People Lie?
You want the short answer? People lie because telling the truth feels like too much risk. That's it. It's not about morals, IQ, or upbringing. Don't let anyone tell you it is. The reality is that at some point, we learned in one way or another that honesty could very well lead to punishment, rejection, or vulnerability.
So what we did is we built a habit of avoidance because it feels safer.
The Many Forms of Lying
Lying isn't just saying things that are objectively not true. Silence also counts. It's the social media version of your life, and it usually starts quite early.
Think back to the first time you had to pretend to like the disgusting food you were served by your family. You learned to smile and nod along even when you disagree. These small lies burn themselves into your being.
"The mind creates problems it has no intention of solving, and lying is one of them. The lie protects the false self."
— Nisargadatta Maharaj
The Unconscious Liar
Most people don't know they're lying half the time. They repeat ideas they heard somewhere but don't believe themselves. They stay in jobs they hate because they're telling themselves they need the benefits, and keep up relationships they've outgrown long ago—all because they're lying to themselves first.
The Mask We Wear: Alan Watts once described this as wearing a mask for so long you forget there's a face underneath. That's what chronic lying is—you're addicted to the performance. A deep belief that who you are isn't enough. So you invent someone that might be.
Social Encouragement
Just think about job interviews. You say you're a team player, detail-oriented, love a challenge—all code for "please pick me." And even though you hate the culture, the work, the feeling of being imprisoned, or the 3-hour daily commute, you accept it. Why? Because socially it's encouraged. Lying is so normalized, we don't even see it.
How to Stop
Don't try to be more honest. Before long, that just becomes another performance. Instead, notice why you're lying. What would the truth cost you? Who would you disappoint? What part of your identity would suffer the most?
When that becomes clear, the lie becomes a choice instead of automatic. That's where true honesty starts—as an unlearning.
How Do I Actually Stop Overthinking Everything?
That's actually quite funny. How? Well, ask yourself this: Who wants to stop overthinking?
Overthinking is your brain trying to outsmart reality. All you are doing is trying to rehearse failure in advance. It might feel responsible, but in reality, it's just fear disguised as productivity.
The Illusion of Control
The goal is only control. And that's why it never ends. At the root of overthinking is only an idea, and that idea is that if you just analyze something hard enough, you'll finally feel safe. But safety isn't some mental achievement. And thought alone can't give you that desired safety.
So you keep repeating the same patterns, waiting for a green light that never comes.
Who is Thinking? Realize that you're not the thinker. Thoughts happen. Let them. You are not their author. Ramana Maharshi made this exact point: The thought "I think" is itself a thought. That is not proof of a thinker.
The Bedtime Mind
Think for example about the time when you lie in bed at night about to fall asleep. Suddenly a thought crops up: Did I send the email that I really wanted to send? Followed by that thing you said 5 years ago. Then a full imaginary argument of what you could have said to that one person who cut you off in traffic.
That's not really thinking per se. That's your mind panicking in slow motion, trying to simulate every outcome so it doesn't get caught off guard. But it doesn't work. It just robs you of your well-deserved rest.
What to Do
Don't resist the thoughts. Just stop believing them. Start with a micro action. Label it: planning, worrying, imagining. Once that's done, it's seen for what it is. Once it's seen, it can pass. You don't need to fix your thoughts. Stop taking them personally and they'll disappear on their own.
Action Over Analysis: Shorten the time between thought and action. Overthinking loves delay. Just have the conversation. Make the decision. Submit the application. Action clears mental static faster than clarity ever will.
The mind is loud because it thinks it's in charge. Show it it's not.
Can Non-Duality Help Me Stop Being Jealous?
Yes, but not in the way you probably expect. Non-duality exposes what makes jealousy possible in the first place: the belief in a separate me that lacks something.
The Root of Jealousy
Jealousy only makes sense when you believe you're missing out or being outshone by someone else. But there is no someone else. Just experience showing up in different flavors. The sense of me versus them is a projection running in your mind. And jealousy is just a byproduct of that.
You're not upset because someone else has something. You're upset because your self-image thinks it should have it too. And that image needs constant defense.
Once you see that the "I" being threatened is just a collage of past experiences, opinions, and fears, the jealousy doesn't make sense anymore.
The Social Media Trap
Who here hasn't scrolled through their social media feed looking at someone traveling, thriving, getting married, buying a house, and seemingly having it all. Suddenly, your body tenses and a question burns in your head: Why not me?
But take a step back. That pain came only from the thought, "I'm behind." That thought is just a reflex.
Use Jealousy as a Tool
Instead of fighting jealousy or spiritually bypassing it, use it. Let it expose what part of your self-image still feels incomplete. Let it reveal what you still think you need in order to be enough—just to see it. No need to fix it.
The Truth: You're not jealous. Jealousy is happening. It's not personal. It's just another mirage your ego set up to keep you believing you are separate and lacking. It's not true. And once you see that, the jealousy just disappears.
So yes, non-duality can help, but it'll only show you there was never a you for it to stick to in the first place.
Why Do I Feel Offended by Other People's Words?
You feel offended because some part of you believes the words might be true. Offense can only land where something is already broken—some insecurity you haven't fully addressed.
The Purple Dinosaur Test
If someone called you a purple dinosaur, you wouldn't flinch. But what if they say you're lazy or fake? That stings. Why? Because part of your mind thinks "maybe I am."
Offense is self-reference. You're not actually reacting to what they said, but to the identity it threatens.
"The ego gets hurt because it's fragile and constantly trying to be someone in particular."
— Osho
The Power of Imagination
Nothing can trouble you but your own imagination. And that's exactly what's happening. Someone else throws out a sentence and your mind builds an intricate story around it. Do you see the problem? It's identification.
A Practical Example
Consider creating content: you think of a topic, write a script, proofread it, design thumbnails, convert to audio, find music, create visuals, and finally assemble everything into one coherent piece.
And after all that work, someone comments "this is stupid." How does that make you feel? But zoom out. It's literally a sentence from a stranger written in pixels by someone who may have had a fight with a friend or simply a stressful day.
Finding Balance: Of course receiving positive feedback feels better because it makes us feel appreciated. That is just a normal reaction in the mind-body machine. Nothing to worry about or to overanalyze.
How to Stop Feeling Offended
No need to stop having emotional reactions. They will come and go as they please until you really see through the idea that there's a "you" who needs defending. The one being hurt isn't even solid to begin with.
And of course, some people will say that this is some form of apathy. But rest assured, no one is asking you to be some pushover. You can still disagree, have boundaries, speak clearly about what annoys you or matters to you—but it's coming from clarity, not emotional flinching. The trigger's gone.
The Practice: Next time someone says something that finds its target, pause. Instead of reacting, ask: "What part of me just got threatened?" That moment of awareness interrupts the script. Because when there's no imagined self to protect, there's nothing left to offend.
Deepen Your Understanding
If this resonates with you and you'd like to move from intellectual understanding to actual experiential recognition, consider exploring structured guidance through meditation, self-inquiry, and contemplative practices.
The journey from superficial knowledge to deep recognition of your true self is one of direct experience, not just ideas.
